God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

I’ve been told I don’t trust people enough and am guarded and paranoid.

Honestly, your damn right. After 29 years and enough bad experiences I’ve learned that these traits are not bad things and I’ve built them up as my defenses.

I’d rather live the way I live now than I did when I was younger and let people take advantage of me and kick me all over the place like a lost little puppy who kept coming back for more. I trust my instincts about people now. I’m wary.

I may be prickly and cautious, but dammit I’ve EARNED the right to be.

So today I begin a 12 week health kick (12 weeks is my first goal check in) and I’m using a ‘FitnessPal’ app on the iphone and am calorie counting/recording everything I eat and any exercise I do. (Seriously recommend this app to anyone it’s amazing and scans barcodes off food items to make the process easier!).

I’m hoping this will help me achieve my goal of losing around 25 kilos. I don’t openly talk about this on my tumblr but obviously I’m a more ‘chunky’ girl and feel the time has come for me to get back on top of my fitness. Actually to be more accurate it’s a life style over haul as I’m also trying to drop/minimize some bad habits I have.

I don’t know why I’m talking about this on here, some kind of diary blog I guess. Anyway hoping in 12 weeks you’ll be seeing a much slimmer confident happy me :)

“Get away from me,

Get away from me,

This isn’t going to be easy,

But I don’t need you believe me.

Yeah you got a piece of me,

But it’s just a little piece.

I don’t need anyone these days.

I feel like I’m fading away.”

This really speaks for me right now. Blarghhhhhh.